This summer will be the 5th year in our home. I truly cannot believe it has already been that long since we bought this place.
I think it is natural to feel a sentimental connection to your first home, I know I do. There are so many memories, so many “firsts” and a few moments where you panic then question if you made the right choice. Purchasing our house was a huge step for us (it is for anyone I am sure!), we weren’t engaged or married and together for about two years. On the edge of our early 20s… entering our mid 20s when we bought our place, we felt young but ready to make this leap! When I say “we” felt ready, I am more referring to Ry being confident and eager with me riding that band wagon hoping he was right. I was terrified and thought we were getting WAY over our heads.
My mother-in-law is a real estate agent, so we were well-informed about the market and in good hands. I know she would never lead us down a wrong path but my over-conservative self was still terrified. We looked at a handful of homes and quickly realized we knew exactly what we wanted. What we wanted was at the top of our price range, go figure right?! The home we bought ended up being my mother-in-law’s new listing and we jumped on it. Very quickly we were first time homeowners and I had all of $15.89 left in my bank account. After we gave our deposit, down payment and paid for our lawyer, I have never felt so broke in my life. I will never forget sitting in my car, looking at the certified cheque then back at my bank statement then back at the cheque feeling a surge of anxiety and starting to cry. I thought I was going to be broke forever and completely house poor! (I know, slightly irrational…)
Almost 5 years later, I can say every is o.k. and we absolutely love our home. We don’t know how long we will be here, which is hard for me. Being the extreme planner I am, not having a plan gives me anxiety and stresses me out. We could be here 5 more years or a few more months, we don’t know. We are flying by the seat of our pants with this one, waiting for a house to come on the market that is a perfect next step.
No matter what happens, I will have a hard time leaving this place and always will have a special place in my heart for our first home. ❤
When I finished university I had an opportunity to take a position at the firm I interned with during school. With student debt looming in the back of my mind, I took it without hesitation. The position meant I needed to get my own place and end the life with my university roommate. My apartment was small but perfect for me. It was a whole 650 square feet, newly built, in-suite laundry, central location, parking, etc etc. It had exactly what a single girl wanted and needed. This was all until a boy came along. That boy was double my size, which wasn’t an issue until we decided to move in together after a mere 6 months of dating. My 650s/f apartment got significantly smaller very quickly.
I would be lying if I said the decision to move in together was not taken lightly- actually, it was. What can I say? We were young, in love and wanted to be together all day, every day. Although, that boy did become my husband, I wouldn’t necessarily recommend our approach to jumping into such a situation with two feet, blindly covering our eyes. In hindsight, I would suggest a slightly more conservative approach and discuss the following prior to any co-habitation:
- Money– That ugly elephant in the room, the awkward conversations, the moments of truth. Does the cost fit both budgets? Do both of you have stable jobs? Do either of you have other significant financial obligations, such as: student loans, car loans, etc. Finances are never fun to discuss but a topic that is extremely beneficial to get out of the way.
- Expectations- Sorry to be the barrier of bad news but the little “sleep-overs” you have are absolutely nothing like living with him. Nothing. You truly get to know a person after living with them, your relationship is tested in many ways and you learn very quickly if you are truly compatible. Discuss house cleaning roles, who is going to be responsible for paying what bill, who is buying the groceries, etc.
No one is perfect… I know, shocker right?!? Relationships are never a lifelong fairy tale. Do not expect to come home every day to complete bliss, lovey-dovey romance and a candlelight dinner. You are probably thinking, “Obviously!” Well I can’t tell you how many times I have had friends move in together and have higher expectations than they would ever admit to. Our sudden move-in plans may have worked out in the end, but take a few moments to think about all the aspects of taking the next step in your relationship.